Busy

The shrill piercing fills my ears as what must surely be flames fiercely licking the smoke alarm sensors to cause such a noise. The whole house is filled with the siren sound, and I hear strong and hurried footsteps move down the hallway towards my room, where not only I am currently sitting, but right near where the alarm is positioned. I hear yelling over the noise, and contemplate leaving my room to try and find safety from the goings on.

There isn't a fire. There isn't any smoke. I'm not in any immediate foreseeable danger. Rather, It is a Thursday night, and while I sit in my room, laptop at the ready, pages of writing spread all over my desk, my mother dearest stands in the kitchen preparing food for a guest we are having over for breakfast tomorrow morning. Apparently she is cooking muffins, and whilst the thought of actually consuming them is appealing, the fact that the smoke alarm has been set off at least 5 times in the past 20 minutes is something that I find far from appealing.

My CD player is playing one song on repeat. Kate Miller-Heidke's amazing voice fills my room as I turn the volume up in a lame attempt to drown out the unwelcome alarm noise. I've seen the very quirky and eccentric Kate perform a few times, and she amazes me. She has been trained in opera, but sings music closer to the pop alternative category now. She has a powerful voice, but this particular softer and quieter song is beautiful. It was written about someone she knew who, after a few years and loosing contact with an internet penpal, receives a touching email from their old friend.



First of all, I, apologise, for this slow period of silence
Being busy's no excuse, to pull away and loose touch with my friends
Last time we met, on the net, maybe you didn't like those things that I said
But the day i sent, you that sad mail, not one, not two, but three couples of friends split up

Please don't start your reply with "sorry i was busy too",
Its the business that brings us to our needs,
Who invented all things we have to do,
Cos if i don't have you, oh babe,
What I'm trying to say is don't let go,
don't let go, don't let go, don't let go, don't let go, don't let go, don't' let go, don't let go

Please don't start your reply with "sorry I was busy too"
I know you're busy, we are all busy, we've got such important things to do

They aren't the full lyrics, but the song 'Don't Let Go' seems so relevant to be listening to. Sure, I haven't just received an email from a long lost friend, but the whole 'busy' part is just so here and now. As I finally am able to listen to silence, after the smoke alarms battery has been well and truly removed, I am confronted by all the things I need to do. Distractions are common, the smoke alarm was one, this blog is one, music is another. But here I am, moving towards adulthood and realising that the things I'm doing are going to impact my life. The childish lack of responsibility that I have cherished for so long has disappeared as I have to move towards success and outcomes. It's hard, being in a situation where you feel like you can't go on, where you feel like you don't have the energy, yet you know that things need to be done. You know that there are places to be, people to see, things to do, goals to achieve.

In two weeks, I will have completed 2 of my final school exams. I won't have finished all of the final exams till this time next year, but having such important pieces of assessment coming up is daunting. Not only that, I have three 2000+ word assignments due within 2 weeks, as well as numerous essays and tests. In the next 17 hours I also have to complete an application of a university scholarship that I have been nominated for. I want to put my head down and sleep, I want to stop typing and ignore it, yet at the same time I am so keen to achieve this. I'm so excited at the prospect of having something to be proud of.

So, in the next 24 hours, I will eventually finish and put forward this application. I know I will, because I want to, and I somehow managed to get things done at the last minute. But after the application is sent, after I complete 2 essays throughout the course of tomorrow, I will be tired. After I spend the weekend attempting to study for my final exams, I will feel hopeless. After a week of final preperations, I will be terrified. But in 2 weeks. In 2 weeks this will be over. After 3 or 4 weeks of finishing everything up, I'll walk out of school, knowing I can enjoy the moment.

I won't have finished school forever. But I won't have to go back until February. Until February, I'm not going to be busy. I'm not going to have important things to do. Until February, I'm going to do the things that I want. I'm going to write like crazy, yet for no exams or essays. I'm going to read like crazy, yet not for school texts, but for enjoyment. I'm going to experience freedom, until February. I can't wait.